VerticulatorThe Harpsichord Verticulator


Suppose you are a person, like me, who spends money on things like pianos, harpsichords, clavichords, and books, and then doesn't have enough money left to buy a home large enough to accommodate it all. One Sunday I woke up, having no intention of buying anything, and ended up buying a condominium before the afternoon was over. Later, having measured the new place, I had a conniption when I realized my harpsichord would not comfortably fit in my new living room. After hours of crotchets and hyperventilations, I had a vision. In my vision, I saw my harpsichord politely bow its keyboard down to the floor, raise its tail into the air, and move to a dignified position along the wall. It was a heaven-sent inspiration, and gave me the idea for the harpsichord verticulator.

After some to-ing and fro-ing, I found a talented and patient woodworker and furniture designer here in Seattle, Stan Hiserman, who looked at my harpsichord, drew up plans, and built the solid walnut masterpiece upon which my harpsichord now resides.

The following slideshow shows images of my harpsichord in its new stand, and shows how the stand works. For those whose space is too limited for their harpsichords, the harpsichord verticulator may be the answer!


Begin slideshow (23 pictures) — thanks to Doug Jongeward for the photography.


Epilogue

I hope you will agree that the harpsichord verticulator is a fine piece of work, and a boon for those of us who don't live in huge houses but like to have harpsichords sitting around. Stan Hiserman, who designed and built the verticulator, would likely be happy to build another one for your harpsichord, should you wish to make a little more space in your palace. He may be reached at nighthawk494@attbi.com, and his phone number is (206) 992-3126.

Felicitations,

Ryan Layne Whitney
Seattle, Washington

P.S.—While you're at it, buy a copy of my book, The Primal Shrug. It has nothing whatsoever to do with harpsichords.